We live in the shadow of a fallen world. If you don't believe me, then just look around. There are hardships, crises, problems, heartache, pain, illness, affliction and suffering everywhere you turn. If you cannot identify with any of these, then count yourself among the few and the fortunate. Chances are, it won't take you long to find someone who is going through a hardship in his or her life. When trials do strike, we often seem to look upwards and ask " Why, God? Why me?"
Often times, suffering can lead people to become bitter and angry towards God. We feel as though our suffering is unfair and undeserved. I know this, because for a time, I felt this way. I am ashamed to admit it now, but I haven't always had the perspective I do now. I have struggled with trying to make sense of my pain and suffering. For a long time, I didn't understand how God could be both all-powerful and good by allowing so much pain and suffering to exist in this world. This concept was a little too difficult for me to grasp in the midst of my sorrow. Thankfully, I can now say that God is both good and sovereign.

When trials come our way, it seems only natural to ask"Why me?" but maybe we should be asking "Why not me?" After all, we are warned about trials and sufferings in the Bible. "Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery trials you are going through, as if something strange were happening to you." 1 Peter 4:12
No life isn't always fair, but was it fair for Christ, who was spotlessly pure and perfect, to live a life of persecution and die a death of unmerciful torture?

It is through God's Word that I have found peace in the midst of trouble, hope in the midst of trial and trust in the midst of chaos. I'm learning that I have to find contentment in spite of my circumstances instead of trying to escape from them. I have always been told that "God will never waste a hurt" and while I am thankful that my testimony can bring inspiration and comfort to others, I realize that it's not about me..it's about God! It is only through Him that my story can serve as a witness to His mercy and grace.
Yes, we can expect trials and tribulation, but God does not leave us without hope...
Jesus Christ said Himself "I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world." John 16:33

He has given us His promise of eternal life. While I have learned firsthand that it is not always easy, my prayer is that I can rejoice in the result of my sufferings and allow them to glorify His purpose.

In His Love....

God, Where Are You?

"God, where are you?"
I asked this question so often after we lost Landon. I felt like God had turned His back on me. What I didn't realize at the time was that God was there the entire time. He was there at the hospital with us when He provided our son with some of the best nurses and doctors to care for him. He made sure our parents were there to comfort us as we said our goodbyes to our little boy. He allowed Pastor, Skip, and his wife, Stoney, to be there to bless Landon in his final hours. God was there at Landon's memorial service and funeral when so many family and friends gathered to show their love and support for us as we grieved for our baby. He was there in the cards, emails, and phonecalls we received for months on end. God was there in the countless love offerings we received from so many people, some being complete strangers.

Over the past two weeks, God has continued to reveal himself. After the miscarriage, He was there in the compassion that was shown to us by my doctor and nurses. He watched over me during my surgery. He was there in the meals that friends and family provided. He was there when my wonderful co-workers graciously took over my teaching duties while I was out.
On the days that we have struggled with our grief, He has been there to provide a phonecall or email of encouragement from a family member or friend. On the day that we picked out Landon's headstone, He provided a care package in the mail from our friend, Wendy. God knew we would be in need of a spirit boost after that day! He was there when we received a bundle of letters from our old LifeGroup at Calvary, each of them inscripted with words of love and sealed with God's grace. He was there when others who have endured similar trials shared their stories with us as encouragement. He was there at my last doctor's visit when we were told not to give up hope yet on having children.
Although the pain is still present, God is with me now as I type this. I can feel His presence as He fills my broken heart with an indescribable peace. I know that the same hands that shaped this world are holding my heart right now.

I've learned that in our times of suffering, we should not question whether or not we believe in God, but rather what we believe about Him. God does not condemn us for asking questions. God is unchanging, God is the same today as He was 2,000 years ago. However, what we believe about Him and understand about Him can change. I realize that there really are no answers for why these things have happened to us. I do know, however, that God is faithful. Every time He made a promise in the Bible, it was fulfilled. There is hope for the future!

" 'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me with all your heart.' " Jeremiah 29:11-13

In His Love.....