Amazing song!

I heard this song a few days ago and wanted to share. It's from one of my favorite Christian artisits, Brandon Heath. It's called "The Night Before Christmas". It gives me chills every time I hear it! Be sure to listen to the words.
Hope you enjoy it! :)

www.brandonheath.net

Tidings of Comfort and Joy

I can't believe it's December already! Where are the months going? I took a brief hiatus from my blog for the past few weeks on account of several reasons. One being that life has just gotten in the way and I haven't had the time to sit and write. Another reason.....I've been feeling a little like the Grinch lately.

I have always heard that the Holidays are never the same after you've lost a loved one, but I never thought I would get to find that out for myself so soon. As someone who has always been enthralled with Christmas, I can't exactly say that I've been all that excited this season. My tree is still not up, I don't have a single present wrapped, and my kitchen doesn't have the usual aroma of fresh-baked cookies like it normally does this time of year. Everywhere I go, it feels like it's all about seeing Christmas through the eyes of a child. There are the festive decorations....the sparkling lights... the tree.... the wrapped presents.....Santa.....all of the things that bring delight to the eyes of a small child. I have been missing my baby boy so much these past few weeks and I am constantly thinking about what we would be doing if he were here with us. I think about what our family Christmas card would like, what presents I would've bought him, and the "Baby's First Christmas" ornament that would hang on the tree.

I placed a Christmas wreath I had decorated with ornaments on Landon's grave last week. As I sat there beside his grave, I thought "How foolish of me to think that Christmas on earth could even compare to Christmas in Heaven. He has angels singing him Christmas carols and heaven's lights that glimmer and shine way beyond what we can even imagine."

A friend sent me a card a few weeks ago and she must have been reading my mind because it read "The joy is in the birth of our Savior, not the circumstances we find ourselves in." God knew I needed a reminder of what this season is all about. On the days I find it difficult to muster the strength to keep going, I reflect back on the birth of our Savior and the gift of life that He brought for all mankind. I also wonder what His young mother, Mary, must have thought while she carried her child in her womb. Did she know how great of an impact her son would one day make on the world? Did she know that she would out-live her son and that one day she would have to witness Him suffer on the cross? Did she give up her son willingly?

Our greatest tests come when we cannot see positive results from our faith and obedience. When faith doesn't see results it challenges what we believe. Mary may not have anticipated just how much her son's life would mean to this world, but she was steadfast in her faith and allowed God to use her. We must pray as Job prayed: "Teach me what I cannot see" (Job 34:32). God says there is a purpose in everything we go through. While it is important for us to remain faithful, we must also remember that God is faithful and He is so much bigger than Satan's afflictions.

To the brokenhearted, the downtrodden, the grieving, and the discouraged, I wish you tidings of comfort and joy. Comfort to get you through the difficult times and joy to overwhelmingly consume your hearts.

In His Love......

We live in the shadow of a fallen world. If you don't believe me, then just look around. There are hardships, crises, problems, heartache, pain, illness, affliction and suffering everywhere you turn. If you cannot identify with any of these, then count yourself among the few and the fortunate. Chances are, it won't take you long to find someone who is going through a hardship in his or her life. When trials do strike, we often seem to look upwards and ask " Why, God? Why me?"
Often times, suffering can lead people to become bitter and angry towards God. We feel as though our suffering is unfair and undeserved. I know this, because for a time, I felt this way. I am ashamed to admit it now, but I haven't always had the perspective I do now. I have struggled with trying to make sense of my pain and suffering. For a long time, I didn't understand how God could be both all-powerful and good by allowing so much pain and suffering to exist in this world. This concept was a little too difficult for me to grasp in the midst of my sorrow. Thankfully, I can now say that God is both good and sovereign.

When trials come our way, it seems only natural to ask"Why me?" but maybe we should be asking "Why not me?" After all, we are warned about trials and sufferings in the Bible. "Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery trials you are going through, as if something strange were happening to you." 1 Peter 4:12
No life isn't always fair, but was it fair for Christ, who was spotlessly pure and perfect, to live a life of persecution and die a death of unmerciful torture?

It is through God's Word that I have found peace in the midst of trouble, hope in the midst of trial and trust in the midst of chaos. I'm learning that I have to find contentment in spite of my circumstances instead of trying to escape from them. I have always been told that "God will never waste a hurt" and while I am thankful that my testimony can bring inspiration and comfort to others, I realize that it's not about me..it's about God! It is only through Him that my story can serve as a witness to His mercy and grace.
Yes, we can expect trials and tribulation, but God does not leave us without hope...
Jesus Christ said Himself "I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world." John 16:33

He has given us His promise of eternal life. While I have learned firsthand that it is not always easy, my prayer is that I can rejoice in the result of my sufferings and allow them to glorify His purpose.

In His Love....

God, Where Are You?

"God, where are you?"
I asked this question so often after we lost Landon. I felt like God had turned His back on me. What I didn't realize at the time was that God was there the entire time. He was there at the hospital with us when He provided our son with some of the best nurses and doctors to care for him. He made sure our parents were there to comfort us as we said our goodbyes to our little boy. He allowed Pastor, Skip, and his wife, Stoney, to be there to bless Landon in his final hours. God was there at Landon's memorial service and funeral when so many family and friends gathered to show their love and support for us as we grieved for our baby. He was there in the cards, emails, and phonecalls we received for months on end. God was there in the countless love offerings we received from so many people, some being complete strangers.

Over the past two weeks, God has continued to reveal himself. After the miscarriage, He was there in the compassion that was shown to us by my doctor and nurses. He watched over me during my surgery. He was there in the meals that friends and family provided. He was there when my wonderful co-workers graciously took over my teaching duties while I was out.
On the days that we have struggled with our grief, He has been there to provide a phonecall or email of encouragement from a family member or friend. On the day that we picked out Landon's headstone, He provided a care package in the mail from our friend, Wendy. God knew we would be in need of a spirit boost after that day! He was there when we received a bundle of letters from our old LifeGroup at Calvary, each of them inscripted with words of love and sealed with God's grace. He was there when others who have endured similar trials shared their stories with us as encouragement. He was there at my last doctor's visit when we were told not to give up hope yet on having children.
Although the pain is still present, God is with me now as I type this. I can feel His presence as He fills my broken heart with an indescribable peace. I know that the same hands that shaped this world are holding my heart right now.

I've learned that in our times of suffering, we should not question whether or not we believe in God, but rather what we believe about Him. God does not condemn us for asking questions. God is unchanging, God is the same today as He was 2,000 years ago. However, what we believe about Him and understand about Him can change. I realize that there really are no answers for why these things have happened to us. I do know, however, that God is faithful. Every time He made a promise in the Bible, it was fulfilled. There is hope for the future!

" 'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me with all your heart.' " Jeremiah 29:11-13

In His Love.....

Blessed Assurance

Although this past week has been a difficult one, we have felt your prayers and know that God is wrapping His blanket of comfort around us. Our grief is deep, but we know that the Lord feels our pain. Sometimes life just doesn't go the way we planned and we are left with only pieces of our shattered hopes and dreams. We have shed many tears this week for both of our babies, and while we mourn the loss of our latest little miracle , Landon has been heavy on our hearts this week.


Yesterday, he would've been 6 months old. I often wonder what he would've looked like by now. What would his personality have been like? Would he have been a good sleeper? What would his smile have looked like? Would he still have his daddy's dark hair?




Today, instead of shopping for a Halloween costume for a 6-month old baby, we shopped for his headstone. It has taken us 6 months to find the strength to finally take care of it. We wanted it to be special, so we took our time deciding what to put on it. I never would've thought that I would be picking out my child's headstone at the age of 27. It just doesn't seem right that I outlived my child. Even though this is not the picture I had painted in my mind of what my life would look like, I can say that I will always be thankful that God chose ME to carry these children and to be their mother. I carried one of them in my womb for a short time and held the other in my arms for a few short days, but I will always carry them in my heart.


I wish I could say I was as strong as some of you make me out to be, but then I would be a fake. I think sometimes we feel that as believers we must put on this facade like everything is okay and we're doing just peachy, when in reality, we are falling to pieces inside. To be honest, I've been so angry lately. I'm angry that I don't have a baby to hold in my arms. I'm angry that I can't give my husband a child. I'm angry that "the Lord gives, and the Lord taketh away". How much more "taking away" do I have to endure before the pain stops? I know that I can be honest with Him because He already knows how I feel whether I express it or not. Lately, I've told Him often exactly how I feel. He knows that I'm angry. He knows that I'm hurting. He feels my pain. Whatever I might be feeling, it will not separate me from His love. He will not turn away from me. His is still faithful.


I have learned that although God doesn't always give answers to all of my "whys", He always gives Himself. So, as I wait for Him to reveal His plan for my life, I will continue to praise Him. I praise Him for being a God of grace, a God of mercy, a God of compassion, a God of comfort, and a God of hope. I praise Him for His faithfulness and His holiness.


Heavenly Father, thank you for the assurance that my babies are alive and well with you.





In His Love....

Thank you for all of the phone calls, texts, and emails. I have been too emotional the past few days to talk to anyone, so please do not be offended if you got my voicemail. I am at home resting up. Physically, I feel fine. Emtionally, well, you can probably imagine how I feel. It's almost like life just slapped me in the face...again. I have been trying not to drown in a pool of self-pity today. What hurts the most is thinking about the possibility of spending the rest of my life without children to raise. But every time I start going down that road, I have to remind myself to count the blessings I do have instead. I have a wonderful, loving husband to take care of me, I have a job that I love where I can spend every day with children, I have family and friends to surround me with love, and most importantly, I have a heavenly Father who loves me unconditionally. If anyone knows my pain, He does. After all, he lost his one and only son as well.

As we were entering the hospital for my surgery yesterday, we passed a young couple leaving the hospital with their newborn son, full of smiles and love. While it is hard for me not to be jealous, I realize that just because I can't have that doesn't mean I can't be happy for others who do. However, with that being said, I am not happy for the countless parents in this world who treat their children like burdens and never take the time to praise God for the precious miracles He has blessed them with. I keep thinking about a mother I passed in the grocery store a few days ago. She had a baby, maybe a few months old, sitting in the shopping cart and a little girl about 3 walking beside her. The little girl kept pulling things off the shelf and asking her mom if she could have them. Every time, the mom jerked her by the arm and slapped her hand. About the the third time, the little girl started crying, then the baby starting crying. The mother started screaming at them, and I mean screaming, at them to "shut-up!" My eyes filled with tears as I witessed this and although my mind was telling me to mind my own business, my heart told me otherwise. As I passed by the mother, I simply looked at her and said "Maybe you should count your blessings." I think the mom was a little shocked that I actually said anything to her because she just stared at me in silence. Maybe it was a waste of my breath and even a little bold for me to do, but I justify it by calling it "righteous anger". Does she not realize that there are women who would give anything to have what she has?

Before I became pregnant with Landon, I remember someone who often complained about the fact that the Lord never blessed her with a daughter that she thought she deserved. This woman was the mother of three healthy boys. I wanted to ask her "Who are you to complain and how can you possbily feel sorry for yourself?" I often think about her remark, especially now that I am a childless mother. A small part of me almost resents people like her, but at the same time, I feel sorry for these people. Instead of focusing on their blessings in life, they complain instead about the things they do not have. Who are we to complain? Where does it say in the Bible that God owes us anything?
There are no guarantees in life. No guarantees of having children, no guarantees of financial wealth, no guarantees of success, no guarantees of happiness, no guarantees of a life without broken hearts. The only guarantee is the love of our Lord.

"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." Psalm 147:3

In His Love...

In my last posting, I was under the impression at the time that God was in the process of restoring my lost joy through the birth of another child; however, I'm beginning to think that maybe my joy will not come in the form of another baby. As someone who lacks a lot of hope right now, it's hard for me to even think of having joy again some day.
Yesterday, I started having some minor complications. I called the doctor just as a precaution and he asked me to come in so he can perform an ultrasound to make sure everything was fine with the baby.
As he performed the ultrasound, I lay there looking at the screen waiting for a tiny beating heart to appear, but it never would. As seconds ticked by, and then minutes, I felt a sense of dread overcome me and tears flooded my eyes as I stared at a black motionless monitor. As the doctor and nurse expressed their apologies for the loss of our baby, I don't think I heard a word they were saying. My only thoughts were "God, is this your way of telling me that I'm just not meant to have children?"
The doctor assured me over and over again that there was nothing I could've done to prevent what happened, but it doesn't help lessen the pain any. He said "Sometimes these things just happen." It wasn't what I was expecting to happen. We are still in shock. We thought we would wait until the end of my 1st trimester to tell everyone the news that we were expecting, thinking that we would be "out of the woods" so to speak. I guess there never is a point where you're really "out of the woods".
I was told that since I was beyond a certain point in my pregnancy, they would need to go in and perform a certain procedure on me. I am scheduled for surgery today. My doctor has suggested that I will need some time for physical and emotional healing. I keep thinking this is all a bad dream and I'll wake up at some point.
I keep telling myself not to be angry at God..... It's not His fault.....Life could always be worse. I'm finding that it's hard to have hope when I've hit rock bottom again. So once again, I ask for your prayers, not only for me but also for Adam. I know we are strong and we will get through this..again...but it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel right now.

In His Love....

"Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning"

One year ago today, my aunt Claudie passed away from cancer. She was a godly woman with a heart of gold, and there's not a day that goes by that I don't think about her. She was a very special person and dearly loved by her family. The week before she passed away, I found out that I was pregnant with Landon. Little did I know that only 7 short months later, my little angel would be joining her up in heaven. I know she is watching over him for me.

I once heard someone say that "although God dispenses grief, he dispenses grace in far greater measure." Although at times, my immature faith makes me question why I had to lose my child in order to learn this concept, I now know that God's grace can sustain. Where there is sorrow, there will also be misery, but where there is misery, there is also grace. Throughout my journey through the grieving process, I have found myself continually going back to a particular verse of scripture that has become a source of encouragement...
"...weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning."

As believers, we sometimes have the misconception that our life will be a fairytale as long we we stick to the course and stay faithful to the Lord. Well, in some ways this is true, because eventually, we will end up in a place far greater than any fairytale we've ever dreamed about; however, the steps in between may not always be smooth sailing. It is through our sufferings that God draws us nearer. It is in our darkest hours that our faith can grow the strongest. At some point in our life, we will have to endure some type of heartache, whether it be the loss of a loved one, a financial hardship, or a failed relationship. The good news is that it will only be for a season. Although the past 5 and half months have been full of heartache and grief, I know that the Lord will restore my joy. Here is proof.....
While this may come as a surprise to some of you, understand that you cannot be any more surprised than we are. God has blessed us with another miracle and we ask for your prayers for this precious miracle who is due on April 30, 2010, only 2 days after Landon's birthday. We are not surprised that God performs miracles, but we are surprised over the fact that He has chosen to bestow this blessing upon us so soon. We had decided that it would be a long time before we would ever have the nerve to try for more children, but God has other plans. We feel incredibly blessed, but are also struggling with fear. Our prayer is that whatever God's plan is for this child, that we can accept His will and continue to abide in His unfailing love. We pray that our fears do not rob of us of our joy. We know that no child will ever replace our sweet baby, Landon, and that is never our wish. A friend recently made the statement that "our children really are not our children. They belong to God. We are simply stewards over them while they are on earth." How true this is and may we always remember this.

In His Love...

The Love of the Lord Endures

On one of our last trips to Clearwater, we spent a day at the beach. I stood at the edge of the shore and watched a small child and his father playing in the waves. As each wave came rolling in, the little boy was knocked down to his feet. With every break in the waves, his father would reach down, take him by the hand and pull him back to his feet to ready him for the next wave. As I watched the two, I remember thinking how the scenario resembled my life, especially the last few months. It seems like I've had lots of waves in my life lately, but with every wave, I've had my heavenly Father holding my hand and pulling me back to my feet. Through every wave, I've found that God is my source of joy, hope, and strength. He is unchanging and His love is constant. If there's one thing that I can be sure, it's that the love of the Lord endures.

I recently read a story about a man who's infant son became gravely ill. During the days his child was sick, the man had stopped eating and spent many sleepless nights pleading with God to spare his child. His family and friends watched in helplessness as the man spiraled into a state of despair. When the baby eventually passed away, everyone was afraid to break the news to him out of fear that he would plummet even further downhill. However, upon hearing that his child had gone on to be with the Lord, the man immediately cleaned himself and worshipped the Lord. Everyone was in shock. They asked him "Why did you mourn your son while he was still alive, but now that he is dead, you eat again and no longer weep?" His response was "Why should I continue to mourn and fast if he is dead? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him one day, but he cannot return to me." The man knew that he would see his son again in heaven some day. He had hope for the future.

This man was the great King David and his story can be found in the book of 2nd Samuel. The Lord loved David and soon after, He blessed David and his wife with another son who they named Solomon. David's story is one of hope and faithfulness. Throughout the many trials in his life, he praises the Lord for giving him strength and courage even in his darkest hours. David wrote the 23rd Psalm which shows us how to recognize the presence of God at times and in places where we might think God was absent or when we might be so distracted by our own concerns that we would overlook God's presence. David knew that the love of the Lord endures forever.

In His Love...

Heaven

We have been trying out a new church for the past several weeks and it has been difficult not to compare it to Calvary, our old church home. I think what we miss the most is the sense of community we use to have. While many have been quick to reach out to us, it is still hard being the "new couple" at church. Even though we both grew up in this town and still know people here, we are finding out that it's impossible to move back and expect to pick up where you left off. Things change and people change. As crazy as it sounds, we have noticed that people seem to avoid us. Maybe it is because they don't know what to say and are afraid they might say something that would bring up the past. I realize everyone is affected by the loss of a loved one in different ways, but as for me and Adam, we like talking about our son. He is not something that we would ever want to erase from our minds. Yes, the mention of his name still brings tears to our eyes, but the tears come because we miss him, not because someone brought him up. We still feel the deep pain of missing him, but we also have joyful memories of him like every other parent has of their baby.

On a different note, we are grateful that God has blessed us with the friendship of a wonderful family who we seem to have lots in common with. Although it has been nearly 5 months since we lost Landon, we still struggle with our grief on a daily basis and it has been a blessing to have friends who understand this.

A year ago, we never would have thought that our lives would look the way they do now. Several times each week, I go to the cemetary to visit my little boy's graveside. This is my quiet time with him and God. Even though his little casket is buried there, it is hard for me to picture him as a lifeless little form just laying there. In my mind, I picture him as a beautiful baby alive and safe in the arms of our heavenly Father. I think about heaven a lot more now than I use to, not just because Landon is there, but because losing him has made the reality of death a lot more clearer to me. Heaven is something that Adam and I discuss quite often. I wonder what it will be like to be reunited with all our loved ones and to stand before the presence of our almighty Father. I can't wait for heaven! No more tears, no more goodbyes, no more sadness, no more pain. Just Jesus Christ and His love. This is a concept amazing beyond my comprehension.

"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him." (1 Cor. 2:9)

In His love....

Hummingbirds

Ever since I was a small child, I have always been fascinated by hummingbirds. I was thrilled when I discovered that we have several living around our new place. We hung a feeder on our window so we can watch them. I snapped this photo a few weeks ago and couldn't wait to share it. I have never seen one sit so still!

I find it astonishing to think that people can deny the existence of God even when we are surrounded with so many of His beautiful creations!

When Things Don't Make Sense

Praying for some of our dearest friends, Kevin and Wendy, who found out today that their baby, Mason, has been diagnosed with a genetic disorder, Xlink Hydrocephelus. This is one of the godliest couples I know and it is difficult to think that life is throwing something at them that they do not deserve. I pray that God will provide them with the strength they will need for the days and years ahead. I know they will be amazing parents regardless of the circumstances and will love their little boy unconditionally. I'm praying that little Mason's life will be as close to "normal" as possible and the trials in his life will be mininum.

Their situation is another reminder that some things in life just don't make sense. The Bible reminds us that suffering is a part of life in a sinful world. In the book of Romans, Paul tells us that " ...the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us" Rom. 8:18. Out of suffering comes holiness and a chance for us to become "instruments of His peace".

In His love....

Seasons of Life

It has been some time since my last posting. We are slowly transitioning into our new life in "the sticks". It has certainly been a huge adjustment moving from a booming metropolis to rural north Florida. I've had a busy, but successful first week back to school and am excited about the new school year, especially since I have been blessed with a terrific group of students! It is great to be back home, although I miss my friends at DHMS.

Thanks for all the positive and encouraging comments I've received from those of you who have taken the time to read my blog. I have never been a very public person when it comes to personal matters, but I have found that it helps the grieving process the more I talk about things. When I lost Landon, there were several other mothers who reached out to me who had also lost a child and it certainly helped to know that I wasn't alone in my feelings. So, my hope is that God will use my blog to touch someone else who is going through a similar experience.

It has been four months since our loss. Although I don't particularly like God's plan for my life right now, I am learning to accept it. I have to remind myself that what I might think is "good" for me may not match up with what God's idea of "good" is. "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,' declares the Lord". Isaiah 55:8
After seeing my child suffer, I wondered if God really was good. I wondered why he didn't step in, save the day and make my life perfect again. I wondered if God was even still here with me. I had prayed with fervent vigor for him to heal my son and it seemed like he had ignored my pleas for help. During Landon's surgery, a group of our church friends held a special prayer gathering to pray for him. It was difficult for me to know that so many people had cried out to God and He hadn't even listened, at least I didn't think He had. In my moments of fragile faith, I even questioned the power of prayer.

In recent months, I have come to realize that God was with me before, during and after my suffering. In the three years that we lived in Clearwater, God had blessed us with an amazing church family and a group of wonderful Christian friends. We didn't realize it at the time, but He was preparing our hearts for the season of life that would soon be upon us. I grew up in a Christian home but my spiritual walk with Christ was never quite so intense as it has been the past few years. I believe God put us in a specific place for a specific time in our lives for a purpose.
Through the seasons of life, I have learned that it is always easy to give God the praise and glory when life is going great, my bank account is always sufficient, I always feel good, work isn't stressful, my house is always orderly, there is food on the table and I'm happy. However, if life seems chaotic, my bank account is in red, I have a splitting headache, the house is a mess, work is stressful, yet I am still happy and continue to praise God..others take notice because it just doesn't seem normal. I know that as long as I am willing, God can use my suffering as a platform to reveal His power and grace to others.

God is preparing us for a new season in life. We are trusting Him with the future and know that whatever storms might blow our way, Christ will be there to provide us shelter from the storm.

In His love...

Jesus, Bring the Rain

This past May, we lost our little angel, Landon. He was born almost 6 weeks early but appeared to be perfectly healthy. On his 6th day, we were told by his doctors that he had an infection in his intestines (Necrotizing Enderocolitis/NEC) and needed to be transported to a neighboring hospital for closer observation in a level III NICU. Upon arrival, he was rushed into emergency surgery where his colon, large intestine and most of his small intestine were removed. We were told he had a 50/50 chance for survival. Within 20 hours of first being informed of his infection, he was gone. With the blink of an eye, his precious life had ran out. It all happened so fast and we were left in total shock and desperation. "How could this have happened?!" "They told us he would be going home in no time!"

As you can imagine, the past 4 months have been a difficult road. One moment, we were decorating our son's nursery and preparing ourselves to be parents. The next moment, we were making funeral arrangements for him. At first, there were all of the "why?" questions. I felt so cheated and I was so angry at God for allowing this to happen. We stayed away from people and tried to distance ourselves from anything that served as reminders of what we had lost. We were living in denial. Giving up seemed so much easier than hanging on. The pain seemed too great to endure. We had lost our hope and our faith was shaken. I was angry at God and did not understand how a loving and compassionate God could allow something so devastating to happen to one of His children. When I tried to pray, there was so much bitterness in my heart that slowly I was building a wall around my heart and I could no longer "feel" God. Emotionally and spiritually I expected something different. I knew He was there, but I wasn't feeling emotionally like I wanted to feel.
It was in these darkest moments that we were lifted up by the prayers of others. Instead of praying for God to answer my questions, I began to pray for the "peace that surpasses all understanding." I started reading scripture and books based on scripture that provided encouragement on coping with grief and dealing with life's trials. Through divine revelation, I began to gain a sense of inner peace.
One day, it all just seemed to click! I believe God did not neccesarily "allow" Landon to die for a purpose. I believe that Landon's illness was a result of the pain and evil that exists in this world and has existed since the fall of man. Because man chose to sin, we have to suffer from the consequences of that sin. God hates suffering just as much as we do, especially when it is one of His own. When bad things happen to people, we have two choices...1) we can turn away from God and try to deal with our pain on our own, or 2) we can turn to God and allow Him to help us carry our burdens. Doesn't the latter seem so much more logical?
I believe in an almighty and all-knowing God who is capable of anything; however, I also believe that God gives us freewill. He loves us so much that he gives us the chance to decide salvation for ourselves. He has given us the chance for salvation by sacrificing His own son on the cross and He also gives us the choice whether or not to accept His salvation. If God had healed my little Landon, then that would have invalidated everything about the cross.
I am certainly not a scholar when it comes to Christian theology and maybe I am not doing a very good job of explaining this concept, but if anything, I guess I just want people to understand that God doesn't make us suffer. Sin makes us suffer. God does not promise His people that we will be free of pain and suffering while on earth. It is only in heaven that we can be free of the evil, pain, and suffering of this earthly world. One day, our lives will end and we will be faced with eternity in either heaven or hell. Both are real. Don't let your sin keep you from spending eternity with the One true God who has promised His children blessings upon blessings in an eternal home.

I have often been asked how can I continue to praise God with all that I've been through.My response can best be summed up in the Mercy Me song "Jesus,Bring the Rain." Why would I turn my back on the one thing that brings me comfort in the storm?
"Bring me joy, bring me peace,
Bring the chance to be free,
Bring me anything that brings you glory.
And I know there will be days
when this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise you,
Jesus, bring the rain."

In His Love......

A Fresh Start

So I have finally decided to join the blogging world! I have promised myself this will not become an addiction, so who knows how often I will actually update my posts. Here we go......