Seasons of Life

It has been some time since my last posting. We are slowly transitioning into our new life in "the sticks". It has certainly been a huge adjustment moving from a booming metropolis to rural north Florida. I've had a busy, but successful first week back to school and am excited about the new school year, especially since I have been blessed with a terrific group of students! It is great to be back home, although I miss my friends at DHMS.

Thanks for all the positive and encouraging comments I've received from those of you who have taken the time to read my blog. I have never been a very public person when it comes to personal matters, but I have found that it helps the grieving process the more I talk about things. When I lost Landon, there were several other mothers who reached out to me who had also lost a child and it certainly helped to know that I wasn't alone in my feelings. So, my hope is that God will use my blog to touch someone else who is going through a similar experience.

It has been four months since our loss. Although I don't particularly like God's plan for my life right now, I am learning to accept it. I have to remind myself that what I might think is "good" for me may not match up with what God's idea of "good" is. "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,' declares the Lord". Isaiah 55:8
After seeing my child suffer, I wondered if God really was good. I wondered why he didn't step in, save the day and make my life perfect again. I wondered if God was even still here with me. I had prayed with fervent vigor for him to heal my son and it seemed like he had ignored my pleas for help. During Landon's surgery, a group of our church friends held a special prayer gathering to pray for him. It was difficult for me to know that so many people had cried out to God and He hadn't even listened, at least I didn't think He had. In my moments of fragile faith, I even questioned the power of prayer.

In recent months, I have come to realize that God was with me before, during and after my suffering. In the three years that we lived in Clearwater, God had blessed us with an amazing church family and a group of wonderful Christian friends. We didn't realize it at the time, but He was preparing our hearts for the season of life that would soon be upon us. I grew up in a Christian home but my spiritual walk with Christ was never quite so intense as it has been the past few years. I believe God put us in a specific place for a specific time in our lives for a purpose.
Through the seasons of life, I have learned that it is always easy to give God the praise and glory when life is going great, my bank account is always sufficient, I always feel good, work isn't stressful, my house is always orderly, there is food on the table and I'm happy. However, if life seems chaotic, my bank account is in red, I have a splitting headache, the house is a mess, work is stressful, yet I am still happy and continue to praise God..others take notice because it just doesn't seem normal. I know that as long as I am willing, God can use my suffering as a platform to reveal His power and grace to others.

God is preparing us for a new season in life. We are trusting Him with the future and know that whatever storms might blow our way, Christ will be there to provide us shelter from the storm.

In His love...