Six Days of Blessings

Yesterday, we went to visit a beautiful little boy who is in the NICU at Shands. Brantley is the son of two of our closest friends, Barton and Bethany. He was born on March 17th at 27 weeks and has been in the NICU ever since. He still has a long way to go, but boy he is a fighter! While Bethany was still carrying him, the doctors told her that he was at risk for a very serious health issue. I remember a conversation we had one day and she told me "I don't know if I could handle what you and Adam have gone through." My response..."I didn't think I could either, but God carried me through it." I have watched Barton and Bethany over the past 7 weeks, and I stand in awe of their strength and optimism. Many people do not understand the physical and mental toll that comes with having a baby in the NICU. I managed it for one week and they have managed it for seven. Please remember their family in your prayers, especialy little Brantley.

Last night, as I stood in the NICU surrounded by beeping monitors and sick little babies, I was reminded of a different NICU I was in, a year ago to the day. Yesterday marked the one-year anniversary of Landon's passing. While many of the events that took place that day are still very sharp in my mind, they are also very painful to reflect upon. I think yesterday was more difficult than his birthday because it represents the day he left us. Although God has filled me with an unexplainable peace these past months, that peace does not make the pain go away.
These past six days have come and gone so quicky. I have spent a year wondering how I would cope when they finally did approach, and while they have been very difficult, we have been blessed with the overwhelming amount of encouragement from family and friends. These are only a few examples:

The week before Landon's birthday, I received a package in the mail from my former colleagues and friends at my old school where I use to teach in Dunedin. My friend, Jen, had gotten everyone to write me little notes of encouragement to help me through the coming week. I was amazed that although I have lost touch with many of them, they still think of me and pray for Adam and I.

On Landon's birthday, I received a ton of texts and emails from loved ones saying they were praying for us. Thank you.

The day Landon was born, my mom gave him a Swarovski crystal rocking horse that she brought back from Austria just for him. To continue the tradition, she and my dad gave us a Swarovski crystal lamb.The tears fell heavy when I opened it. The lamb is symbolic in many ways. Thanks Mom and Dad :)

Over the past six days, we have received heartfelt letters from our close friends in Clearwater. Each day, there have been 2 letters- one for me and one for Adam. I have cried while reading every single one of them. Not only did they write words of encouragement, but they talked about our son. These are the same friends who came to visit us in the hospital when Landon was born and who helped us make arrangments for his memorial service while we struggled with the inital shock of our loss. They have walked this journey with us and we will forever be indebted to them for their compassion and friendship they have poured over us.

Yesterday, my friend, Wendy, sent me the book "I Will Carry You" by Angie Smith. It could not have arrived on a better day. In her book, Angie shares the story of her grief after losing her infant daughter. It's a must read for anyone dealing with a loss or a difficult trial. Thanks, Wendy! By the way, this is the same Wendy, who has also been going through some pretty difficult trials with her infant son, Mason. If you want to know a woman after God's heart, read her blog www.kevinwendywhite.blogspot.com She is such an inspiration and a very dear friend!

Thank you to our family and friends for remembering our son. God never ceases to amaze me with His overflowing goodness.

In His Love.....