WE'RE HAVING A GIRL!!!
I just wanted to post a quick update on our ultrasound this past Thursday. First, I just want to thank everyone for your prayers. The ultrasound went well and the baby appears to be healthy and developing as "she" should be. Now, our prayer is that we can make it full-term this time. As badly as we want to meet our little one, we certainly want her to wait until her due date. We are continuing to trust in the Lord that things will work out and that it's all in His hands.
In His Love...
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
What's the verdict?
So lots of people keep asking me when we find out what we're having. First of all...I'm pretty sure we're having a baby. :) Secondly, we find out June 3rd (yep..this Thursday) if it's a boy or a girl. And no...I don't have a preference. I think some of our family members are a little disappointed that we aren't going to wait and let it be a surprise, but I don't think either of us could stand the waiting. We're just hoping and praying for a healthy baby and that the ultrasound goes well. My doctor has been very pleased with my pregnancy thus far, but there is still that haunting in the back of my mind that something might go wrong. I have been fighting off lots of anxiety as my appointment gets closer. If you get a spare moment this week, would you please pray for the health of our baby?
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7
In His Love....
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7
In His Love....
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Positivity
Just a little bit of randomness that some of you might be interested in.
There are several things in life I am positive about.....
I am positive that God is real and loves me unconditionally, even though I may not always be deserving of His love.
I am positive I love my adoring and loving husband and couldn't live without him.
I am positive I am blessed with wonderful family and friends.
I am positive that life will not always be a piece of cake, but I have the promise of a loving and faithful Father to get me through.
I am positive that I am gaining weight (but not complaining).
I am positive that I have been very sick lately (but not complaining about this either).
And lastly, I'm positive that God has been at work in my life, b/c I am ........
We realize that God's plan may not always be what we desire in life, but we are praying that whatever His plan is for this baby, we can handle it. Secretly and selfishly hoping that Baby Bricker #3 will be here to stay for a while. So far, so good. I'm sixteen and a half weeks and due Oct. 20th.
Our prayer is that fear will not steal our joy and that our trust in the Lord will not fade.
We are ever so grateful for your love and prayers.
There are several things in life I am positive about.....
I am positive that God is real and loves me unconditionally, even though I may not always be deserving of His love.
I am positive I love my adoring and loving husband and couldn't live without him.
I am positive I am blessed with wonderful family and friends.
I am positive that life will not always be a piece of cake, but I have the promise of a loving and faithful Father to get me through.
I am positive that I am gaining weight (but not complaining).
I am positive that I have been very sick lately (but not complaining about this either).
And lastly, I'm positive that God has been at work in my life, b/c I am ........
We realize that God's plan may not always be what we desire in life, but we are praying that whatever His plan is for this baby, we can handle it. Secretly and selfishly hoping that Baby Bricker #3 will be here to stay for a while. So far, so good. I'm sixteen and a half weeks and due Oct. 20th.
Our prayer is that fear will not steal our joy and that our trust in the Lord will not fade.
We are ever so grateful for your love and prayers.
"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds" Psalm 147:3
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Six Days of Blessings
Yesterday, we went to visit a beautiful little boy who is in the NICU at Shands. Brantley is the son of two of our closest friends, Barton and Bethany. He was born on March 17th at 27 weeks and has been in the NICU ever since. He still has a long way to go, but boy he is a fighter! While Bethany was still carrying him, the doctors told her that he was at risk for a very serious health issue. I remember a conversation we had one day and she told me "I don't know if I could handle what you and Adam have gone through." My response..."I didn't think I could either, but God carried me through it." I have watched Barton and Bethany over the past 7 weeks, and I stand in awe of their strength and optimism. Many people do not understand the physical and mental toll that comes with having a baby in the NICU. I managed it for one week and they have managed it for seven. Please remember their family in your prayers, especialy little Brantley.
Last night, as I stood in the NICU surrounded by beeping monitors and sick little babies, I was reminded of a different NICU I was in, a year ago to the day. Yesterday marked the one-year anniversary of Landon's passing. While many of the events that took place that day are still very sharp in my mind, they are also very painful to reflect upon. I think yesterday was more difficult than his birthday because it represents the day he left us. Although God has filled me with an unexplainable peace these past months, that peace does not make the pain go away.
These past six days have come and gone so quicky. I have spent a year wondering how I would cope when they finally did approach, and while they have been very difficult, we have been blessed with the overwhelming amount of encouragement from family and friends. These are only a few examples:
The week before Landon's birthday, I received a package in the mail from my former colleagues and friends at my old school where I use to teach in Dunedin. My friend, Jen, had gotten everyone to write me little notes of encouragement to help me through the coming week. I was amazed that although I have lost touch with many of them, they still think of me and pray for Adam and I.
On Landon's birthday, I received a ton of texts and emails from loved ones saying they were praying for us. Thank you.
The day Landon was born, my mom gave him a Swarovski crystal rocking horse that she brought back from Austria just for him. To continue the tradition, she and my dad gave us a Swarovski crystal lamb.The tears fell heavy when I opened it. The lamb is symbolic in many ways. Thanks Mom and Dad :)
Over the past six days, we have received heartfelt letters from our close friends in Clearwater. Each day, there have been 2 letters- one for me and one for Adam. I have cried while reading every single one of them. Not only did they write words of encouragement, but they talked about our son. These are the same friends who came to visit us in the hospital when Landon was born and who helped us make arrangments for his memorial service while we struggled with the inital shock of our loss. They have walked this journey with us and we will forever be indebted to them for their compassion and friendship they have poured over us.
Yesterday, my friend, Wendy, sent me the book "I Will Carry You" by Angie Smith. It could not have arrived on a better day. In her book, Angie shares the story of her grief after losing her infant daughter. It's a must read for anyone dealing with a loss or a difficult trial. Thanks, Wendy! By the way, this is the same Wendy, who has also been going through some pretty difficult trials with her infant son, Mason. If you want to know a woman after God's heart, read her blog www.kevinwendywhite.blogspot.com She is such an inspiration and a very dear friend!
Thank you to our family and friends for remembering our son. God never ceases to amaze me with His overflowing goodness.
In His Love.....
Last night, as I stood in the NICU surrounded by beeping monitors and sick little babies, I was reminded of a different NICU I was in, a year ago to the day. Yesterday marked the one-year anniversary of Landon's passing. While many of the events that took place that day are still very sharp in my mind, they are also very painful to reflect upon. I think yesterday was more difficult than his birthday because it represents the day he left us. Although God has filled me with an unexplainable peace these past months, that peace does not make the pain go away.
These past six days have come and gone so quicky. I have spent a year wondering how I would cope when they finally did approach, and while they have been very difficult, we have been blessed with the overwhelming amount of encouragement from family and friends. These are only a few examples:
The week before Landon's birthday, I received a package in the mail from my former colleagues and friends at my old school where I use to teach in Dunedin. My friend, Jen, had gotten everyone to write me little notes of encouragement to help me through the coming week. I was amazed that although I have lost touch with many of them, they still think of me and pray for Adam and I.
On Landon's birthday, I received a ton of texts and emails from loved ones saying they were praying for us. Thank you.
The day Landon was born, my mom gave him a Swarovski crystal rocking horse that she brought back from Austria just for him. To continue the tradition, she and my dad gave us a Swarovski crystal lamb.The tears fell heavy when I opened it. The lamb is symbolic in many ways. Thanks Mom and Dad :)
Over the past six days, we have received heartfelt letters from our close friends in Clearwater. Each day, there have been 2 letters- one for me and one for Adam. I have cried while reading every single one of them. Not only did they write words of encouragement, but they talked about our son. These are the same friends who came to visit us in the hospital when Landon was born and who helped us make arrangments for his memorial service while we struggled with the inital shock of our loss. They have walked this journey with us and we will forever be indebted to them for their compassion and friendship they have poured over us.
Yesterday, my friend, Wendy, sent me the book "I Will Carry You" by Angie Smith. It could not have arrived on a better day. In her book, Angie shares the story of her grief after losing her infant daughter. It's a must read for anyone dealing with a loss or a difficult trial. Thanks, Wendy! By the way, this is the same Wendy, who has also been going through some pretty difficult trials with her infant son, Mason. If you want to know a woman after God's heart, read her blog www.kevinwendywhite.blogspot.com She is such an inspiration and a very dear friend!
Thank you to our family and friends for remembering our son. God never ceases to amaze me with His overflowing goodness.
In His Love.....
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Happy Birthday, Landon!
It's a bittersweet day. Thinking about the precious miracle that came into our lives a year ago today and thanking God for every second we got to spend with that miracle. Landon is never far from my heart or my thoughts. I'm thankful that my little boy came into this world alive and that we had some very special moments with him. Although we still grieve and mourn the years we will not get to spend with our son, we continuously praise God for the time He did allow us. After all, six days is far longer than what some mothers get with their child.
It is hard to believe that a year has come and gone so quickly. While the memories of his birth are still sharp in my mind, I know that is not the case for others. A close friend recently asked me "Are you afraid that people will forget him?" I could barely hold back the tears as I responded with a weak "Yes." Most of our friends and family never got to meet him before he left us, so to some, he is only a name without any memories attached. How can I expect them to remember him when they never got to meet him? For Adam and I, it is so much easier because we're his parents and a parent's love for their child does not end even after they pass on.
I made a silly request last night in my prayers. I didn't even tell Adam about it b/c I was afraid he would laugh at me. I asked God to send me a butterfly at Landon's grave today. I really don't know why I asked Him for it. Maybe I was looking for reassurance, I don't know. Point is, I asked for it. I had forgotten all about my foolish request until we walked up to his grave today and low and behold, there was a butterfly resting right on Landon's headstone. My heart literally skipped a beat! At first I thought it was just a coincidence, but after looking around, I noticed that it was the only butterfly I could see. Even stranger, it floated around our heads and stayed close to Landon's grave almost the entire time we were there. Feel free to call me crazy, but I believe in signs and I know that God sent that butterfly for me today. That was his gift of reassurance to me that my little boy is okay.
I do not want Landon's birthday to be a day of sadness, because after all, a year ago today, I was experiencing one of the greatest joys of my life. So instead of sadness, I praise God for the magnificent birthday party He is giving my son in heaven today and for the fact that Landon's little brother/sister that was due this week is getting to celebrate with him.
Save a place for me, my sweet baby boy.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Big day
I've been pretty quiet the last month. Thanks for all the emails asking if I was okay. Yes, I'm fine, just super busy with work and other things.
We have an important day coming up next week. Not sure what to think or feel except that I still miss my baby boy like crazy. Hard to believe it's been almost one year....One year since a beautiful blessing entered our lives. Thanking God for such a wonderful blessing.
In His Love....
We have an important day coming up next week. Not sure what to think or feel except that I still miss my baby boy like crazy. Hard to believe it's been almost one year....One year since a beautiful blessing entered our lives. Thanking God for such a wonderful blessing.
In His Love....
Monday, April 5, 2010
Peace
Easter has come and gone and while I tried my hardest to focus on the real meaning of why we celebrate Easter to begin with, in the back of my mind, there was still that stabbing pain that things were not as they should have been. This year, Easter should have been different for my family. We should have had our nearly one-year-old son dressed for church in his new outfit. He should have been hunting Easter eggs with all the other children and been a part of the big family get-together.......but he wasn't. Another holiday without my baby boy.
Instead, Adam and I went to visit him at his grave. This has become our new family tradition. While we never would've dreamed that starting a new family tradition would include this, we have the promise that this tradition will not last forever.
One day, we will see our little boy face to face and we will no longer have to spend holidays, or any day for that matter, separated from him.
Our pastor preached a wonderful sermon on Easter Sunday about the promise of eternal peace that God offers us. It brought tears to my eyes to think of how much God has blessed me with His peace this past year. There have been times when I thought my pain would surely bring me to my ruin, but time after time, there was that still, small voice that brought light into my darkened world.
Although the pain of losing Landon is still so great, I have felt the fullness of Christ's love like never before. He has taught me what it means to be comforted by His peace and it is by His mercy and grace that my faith is being strengthened. It is only because of His resurrection that I have God's promise of peace and hope. God brought thunderclouds and disasters into my life when all I really wanted was green pastures and still waters. I realize now that that was the only way His refining fire could do its work.
I'm looking forward to the day of Christ's return!
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In His great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade- kept in heaven for you"
1 Peter 1:3-4
In His Love....
Instead, Adam and I went to visit him at his grave. This has become our new family tradition. While we never would've dreamed that starting a new family tradition would include this, we have the promise that this tradition will not last forever.
One day, we will see our little boy face to face and we will no longer have to spend holidays, or any day for that matter, separated from him.
Our pastor preached a wonderful sermon on Easter Sunday about the promise of eternal peace that God offers us. It brought tears to my eyes to think of how much God has blessed me with His peace this past year. There have been times when I thought my pain would surely bring me to my ruin, but time after time, there was that still, small voice that brought light into my darkened world.
Although the pain of losing Landon is still so great, I have felt the fullness of Christ's love like never before. He has taught me what it means to be comforted by His peace and it is by His mercy and grace that my faith is being strengthened. It is only because of His resurrection that I have God's promise of peace and hope. God brought thunderclouds and disasters into my life when all I really wanted was green pastures and still waters. I realize now that that was the only way His refining fire could do its work.
I'm looking forward to the day of Christ's return!
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In His great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade- kept in heaven for you"
1 Peter 1:3-4
In His Love....
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